Managed to use my comp today as I've already finished my book and I don't have to do homework . But well , I still have three freaking tests on Monday and Biology on Tuesday . Awesome . Two big chapters that I don't know a single thing . And yes , I failed my first test of the year which is maths . It's kinda expected but I still felt bit disappointed and sad . I did study , but only on one out of three or four topics . Hah ! I need to work harddd ! Another thing was , Valerie could pass her maths when I was the one who taught her ! I think it's somewhat a curse or whatsoever that anyone that teachers her something , that person will fail instead of her . So mysterious huh ? Maybe this is called qing chu yu lan sheng yu lan . And I admit that I've started to work hard in Chinese . Yeah , less procrastination . Firstly , that I'm afraid that I might get lousy results again . Secondly , I want to prove to some people that I can do it . Hope that perseverance goes on till I take my O's . I had my usual art lesson on Monday , just that it's somewhat of a ssrp . I was supposed to do my research work , but I end up eating and falling asleep in front of the comp . Then I started to facebook and youtube-ing but I got bored after awhile . So in between I went to the toilet for a few times , just to laze around , but mostly end up stoning at one side enjoying the breeze and the scenery and went back to the art room after a long while . And this continues until the time I can go . It was extremely boring and I didn't even find a single picture . I'll be so dead next Monday .
Few days ago , when I was watching the show on the tv , there's this advertisement of a variety show which says that teenagers thinks that their parents interfered too much bout their personal things . Then a sudden thought came rushing into my mind . I wish my parents could do the same too . So I turned and said to my mum , ' My parents care/interfere too little . ' She laughed but didn't say anything . I remember the times when I'm in primary school . I took bus to school myself when I'm in primary two/three , while most kids had their parents to walk/drive them to school . Although I wouldn't say that my house was very far , but at least quite a distance away . And there's this one particular time , when I just came back from overseas , my parents didn't fetch me back home . It's was night time when I pulled my luggage while carrying a bag and walked all the way back home . It don't feel good . I remember that at primary school , when it's about time school ends , the school gate will always be filled with parents . But my parents were seldom in the crowd . Those kids whose parents haven't come to fetch them will have to wait at the basketball court for their parents to arrive . There's one time , I stood at the basketball court , looking outside as the parents find their child and leaving slowly with smiles on their face . And soon , the crowd had cleared . Lesser and lesser parents stood there but I still unable to have a sight of my parents . I despair , I felt lost . I waited as my tears started rolling down . Although I don't really remember what happened afterward , but I still felt disappointed . And maybe because I've always been 'stuck' at the basketball court , that's why I have some special feelings bout things related to basketball . But no , I've no idea how to play basketball or whatsoever rules it had in a game . Just a special feeling towards it .
Back to the topic , I just wanna say that , maybe some people may think that your parents cared too much , or interfering too much , you may want to imagine that how would you feel when you want your parents to care more for you but they don't ? I'd once , because of that ' too much freedom ' I had , I did something real bad . Up till now , I'm still very guilty bout it . But now , I didn't mean that my parents don't care about me . Just that they have much more important things to do and I know that they have the trust in me . They did care , but I just need more . I'd been given too much freedom , that most people would want . But I'd rather exchanged it for the time and care they would give me . And I hope it'll soon happen .
I think I've been reading too much sadist books lately and my mind go haywire . But that's something I really feels , but never really said to anybody . I think I'm crazy now . Haha . Omg . I spent 45 minutes on this post and it's 11.30 now . I'm gonna sleep soon and I think I'm going to borrow another book tomorrow .
Few days ago , when I was watching the show on the tv , there's this advertisement of a variety show which says that teenagers thinks that their parents interfered too much bout their personal things . Then a sudden thought came rushing into my mind . I wish my parents could do the same too . So I turned and said to my mum , ' My parents care/interfere too little . ' She laughed but didn't say anything . I remember the times when I'm in primary school . I took bus to school myself when I'm in primary two/three , while most kids had their parents to walk/drive them to school . Although I wouldn't say that my house was very far , but at least quite a distance away . And there's this one particular time , when I just came back from overseas , my parents didn't fetch me back home . It's was night time when I pulled my luggage while carrying a bag and walked all the way back home . It don't feel good . I remember that at primary school , when it's about time school ends , the school gate will always be filled with parents . But my parents were seldom in the crowd . Those kids whose parents haven't come to fetch them will have to wait at the basketball court for their parents to arrive . There's one time , I stood at the basketball court , looking outside as the parents find their child and leaving slowly with smiles on their face . And soon , the crowd had cleared . Lesser and lesser parents stood there but I still unable to have a sight of my parents . I despair , I felt lost . I waited as my tears started rolling down . Although I don't really remember what happened afterward , but I still felt disappointed . And maybe because I've always been 'stuck' at the basketball court , that's why I have some special feelings bout things related to basketball . But no , I've no idea how to play basketball or whatsoever rules it had in a game . Just a special feeling towards it .
Back to the topic , I just wanna say that , maybe some people may think that your parents cared too much , or interfering too much , you may want to imagine that how would you feel when you want your parents to care more for you but they don't ? I'd once , because of that ' too much freedom ' I had , I did something real bad . Up till now , I'm still very guilty bout it . But now , I didn't mean that my parents don't care about me . Just that they have much more important things to do and I know that they have the trust in me . They did care , but I just need more . I'd been given too much freedom , that most people would want . But I'd rather exchanged it for the time and care they would give me . And I hope it'll soon happen .
I think I've been reading too much sadist books lately and my mind go haywire . But that's something I really feels , but never really said to anybody . I think I'm crazy now . Haha . Omg . I spent 45 minutes on this post and it's 11.30 now . I'm gonna sleep soon and I think I'm going to borrow another book tomorrow .